My exploration of being completely off social media for the first time has been a very freeing and healing process. I use to leave Facebook but still hang onto twitter or Instagram checks here and there. But this time I completely went off the grid and I’ve only kept my content on YouTube and here and I currently have my beautiful supportive girlfriend managing my social media page so I can be completely off but still express my joy of writing on rivers.
It has been a very healing and good process for me to not see the reactions or see the addictions of needing reactions from comments or likes to get that quick hit. It’s so strange how addicted we are to the minds chaos with media channels. Its shown me how truly sick I am. How I need a hit from some outside stimulation to feel alive. To completely go silent and to become empty daily has been a very painful and scary process but also so rewarding. I get to speak to Nirvana a lot more these days because I allow myself to die and let go of these addictions by not feeding into them like a broken record habit.
My work is beginning to be less and less and more empty and peaceful. I’ve begun the process of dropping everything as I left my home and job over 3 months ago to live a completely new life. I don’t act like I use to and if it tries to come up I merely dissolve it into stillness and emptiness. My voice is becoming less expressive but more deeper. Meaning I’m not feeling like I need to express and be heard nowhere near as much as the past.
I don’t need to show my successes or need confirmation for my own wisdom that is flowing. It all just feels good and has a grounding effect and rooted beautifully like the honey that flows from the combs. The pain in my body and the pain in my mind is healing and becoming less and less chaotic. Everyday that I work on this and trust my heart I can feel the layers fall off and know it will all free me one day. I’m not chasing this freedom merely knowing it’s here and waiting for me to deeply feel the integration when I’m truly ready to fully surrender. I love how the universe is always here and doesn’t pressure me to hurry up or slow down or any judgement. It just leaves the ground warm and the birds singing and bees making the honey rivers flow for me to stick to it when I’m ready. Ready or not she loves me and smiles no matter my conditions.
With warm hugs and butterflies,